32 Comments
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Tony Burkinshaw's avatar

This is really good. I love the poem just as a poem but the pattern of repeating lines is brilliantly done.

Does this type of poem have a ‘formal’ name?

Verdant Butterfly's avatar

Aye, this is a pantoum. As I’m sure you’ve surmised, the pattern works by repeating the 2nd and 4th lines of each stanza as the 1st and 3rd lines of the next stanza.

The final stanza then draws on both the preceding stanza and the opening one, using the 2nd and 4th lines of the previous stanza alongside the 1st and 3rd lines from the opening stanza. In my case, I reversed those final borrowed lines to create a looping effect, bringing the poem back to where it began. ✨🦋

Tony Burkinshaw's avatar

Amazing work.

It must be a true brain frying puzzler until you get used them!

Thanks for telling me all about Pantoums 🙏

(One day, I might give it a go 🤔)

Mark Farley’s wandering’s's avatar

I doff my cap to you, remarkable. I will revisit in the morning. 🙏

Verdant Butterfly's avatar

Awe, thank ye kindly Mark. I hope it is fun in the morning as well. ✨🦋

Shrouded Nyx's avatar

Wow! That's such a complex piece! I tip my hat to you! 🎩

Verdant Butterfly's avatar

Thank ye Kindly. It was a challenge to be sure.✨🦋

Shrouded Nyx's avatar

I only can imagine.. I feel like my brain would melt into a pile of mush trying to figure out how to write something like that...

Verdant Butterfly's avatar

LOL it’s not all that bad, though I did have to make lots of notes to keep everything square. ✨🦋

Stories Sown With Hope's avatar

A marvelously serpentine piece, doubling back on itself like a mountainous road up a very steep peak. A pantoum, you say?

I do love it!

Verdant Butterfly's avatar

I just did a shorter one of these this month for my fairy tale in notes✨🦋

Larry Threewitt's avatar

Your little goblin better check his clock, it might be running 🏃‍♂️ a little backwards

Verdant Butterfly's avatar

aye, some of the gears are slipping.

Lawrence Omoregie Jr's avatar

Good writing ✍

Subbed already.

Kindly check out my substack and connect back restack if it resonates, i promise you'd like it.

https://lawrenceomoregiejr.substack.com/p/finding-happiness-in-solitude?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=3g3d4k

https://lawrenceomoregiejr.substack.com/p/i-know-you-think-im-happy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=3g3d4k

https://lawrenceomoregiejr.substack.com/p/not-loved-at-home?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=3g3d4k

Currently writing pieces pertaining to mental health, it's a mental health awareness month.

Do have a lovely day

Ridley Dragonheart's avatar

OK then - that was a bit of jump down the rabbit hole - such a cool idea for a prompt and so very well executed!!!! I am going to have to come back to this a couple more times because I still don’t think I fully have it but I am having fun figuring it out!!! Well done!!

Verdant Butterfly's avatar

Thank ye kindly, i'm so glad you enjoyed it.

Memphis King's avatar

What is this witchcraft? I thought your poems where fun because they tell stories, this is next level story telling. You told a story about a time loop and wrote a poem that is a time loop.

Verdant Butterfly's avatar

LOL, Thank ye kindly Memphis, I'm so glad you are enjoying the poems, didn't you mention earlier in the month that you're not a fan of poetry. Have I corrupted ye?

Memphis King's avatar

my memory is unclear on this matter I plead the 5th.

Mahdi Meshkatee's avatar

What a refreshing poem!

Verdant Butterfly's avatar

Thank ye kindly, im so glad you enjoyed it, I appreciate your commitment. ✨🦋

Ray Sweatman's avatar

Delightful

Verdant Butterfly's avatar

awe, thank ye kindly, i appreciate your comment I'm so glad you enjoyed it.😁✨🦋

Gary L Taylor's avatar

Wonderfully done. Something like that takes a lot more skill than what I possess. When I see writing like this, it makes me realise how far I have to go. An inspirational piece.

Verdant Butterfly's avatar

glad it was inspiring and not discouraging, these are a bit of a pain but you have the skill for this, two lines are written for the next stanza as you go so you are really just fitting a rhyming pair in-between an already written rhyming pair. i had to massage a few so they fit and even with that i have a few stanzas where the pipes become personified. 😂 ✨🦋

Daniel Coates's avatar

Ooooh very nice! Delightfully non-linear for sure ☺️

Verdant Butterfly's avatar

Poetry can be so versatile

Daniel Coates's avatar

I'm writing that down ✍️

Verdant Butterfly's avatar

lovely poetry and a noble cause, You may also be interested in what we're doing over at Indie Ink Fund. ✨🦋

Verdant Butterfly's avatar

aye, it has a looping time slippage. ✨🦋

angelofthedrknesss's avatar

Sinus congestion has my brain not working, time moving backwards?

Verdant Butterfly's avatar

Aye, time repeating